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For some reason, the words “sex” and “seniors” are rarely used within the same sentence. Some people pale at the idea of grandma and grandpa getting intimate, let alone a widowed or divorced grandma meeting another man and having sex. Where did this come from and why?

Nursing homes, until not too long ago, didn’t like putting couples in the same room. In some situations, that’s understandable. There are dynamics in a couple that might not be healthy, like one demanding that the other be nursemaid and do everything. And, there are situations where the couple itself wants space, and that’s ok. But the forced separation of couples is ridiculous.

I’ve heard stories of hospital personnel walking in on older couples who were having sex and being horrified. My reaction? You wouldn’t have walked in on them if they were allowed to have a Do Not Disturb sign for their door. The nursing home is their *home,* so they should be free to act as if it’s their home.

Another problem that comes up with not only seniors but people who may have certain physical limitations or handicaps is the act of sex may be painful or uncomfortable. If a couple knows they want to have sex, but pain is an issue, they should be allowed to feel comfortable enough to ask the nursing staff for pain medications beforehand. Perhaps positioning is an issue and they could use some extra pillows to support a sore leg or hip. If they’re afraid of making noise, maybe they can be encouraged to use a radio or television, or even a white sound machine.

There are many ways we can encourage healthy, loving relationships not only with seniors, but with the frail elderly who still feel desire. There’s no reason to deny it.

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Image: iStock

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